Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
