That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
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Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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