Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
