I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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