I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
