Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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