I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
