youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
