Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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