I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
