Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
