We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize