Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
