I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
