Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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