Pappa wants mamma naked
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
