your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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