After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
