Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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