everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
