It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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