Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
