I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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