I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
