it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
