I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
