508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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