It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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