Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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