My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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