so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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