Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
