hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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