She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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