How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
