oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Someone came in the potted fern
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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