ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
