No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
