I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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