I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
