yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
