but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
