You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
did you just send me my own nude
Sext me about skeletons
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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