dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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