I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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