I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
love makes seman taste better
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
