She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i was born a porn star she said
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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