She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i out mim tonsoeep
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize