As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize