Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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