Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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