your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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