Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
