apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
