how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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