just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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