what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
