remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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