that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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