Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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