after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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